cupcakes and relationship advice

Sometimes I have conversations with God that go something like this:

God: Hey how bout you become friends w that girl and give her advice about her relationship w her boyfriend?

Me: No thank you.......Really Lord? 

God: Yep. 

Me: So the fact that I've never had a boyfriend makes me perfect for this, right? (I'm sarcastic sometimes)

God: Yes it does. 

Me: This is crazy. 

God: I can see how it'd looks that way to you. But remember this important fact, we've been together for over 30 years. 

Me: That’s true but it's only because You're perfect. 

God: I know. And I can't dwell in unholiness, remember?

Me: Ya. You have taught me a lot about loyalty, trust, honesty, and true love. You've been and will always be all of those things and more to me. 

God: Yes indeed. I will always be with you, even while you're talking to that woman about her marriage and to that other woman about parenting. 

Me: This makes no sense to me but here I go. Please help me to sound sincere without any trace of hurtful judgement or conceit. 

God: I will be with you always. 

A few moments later…

God: How bout you make some cupcakes for your coworkers?

Me: What? Really? I don't even like cupcakes. They don't taste good to me and if I ever take a bite I feel sick from all the sugar. 

God: Bake them anyway. 

Me: So let me get this straight, You're asking me to advice people about their love lives and make them desserts? Neither of which I have any personal experience or expertise in?

God: You’re quick, you're very quick. (He's sarcastic sometimes too.)

Me: Oh my word Lord, here goes nothin!

God: I will be with you always.