I thought I’d left grief at home and only packed distraction.
For most of my trip, I was distracted. The 10 hour flight took me to a part of the world I hadn’t seen before. The crisp cold air required my favorite clothes and accessories including a big warm coat, a scarf, a hat, and gloves. Exploring the city required lots of walking, navigating The Tube, taking cabs, and riding a double decker bus. Figuring out what to eat and how much required constantly calculating the risk vs reward because new variables were added throughout each day. How will eating a bite of caramel cheesecake affect my ability to focus and participate in the rest of the days activities? How will having afternoon tea with all its delicious treats allow me to walk several miles and then enjoy a musical? It was all a distracting game.
Knowing what to expect and what was happening next required communication with the friends I was traveling with. Communication requires seeking to understand and be understood throughout each and every day. It requires working together to make decisions and compromises that bring joy to the individual and the group. Communicating can be frustrating but also so much fun! We spent at least half of the trip laughing with and at each other. It was a marvelous and healthy distraction.
Capturing each moment required deciding between taking a picture with my phone or with my eyes. Some things are best captured in a well framed photo and others are better remembered by just gazing at it in its surroundings as it soaks into my heart.
I thought I’d only packed distraction and then we walked by a shop and I saw it. We were walking fairly quickly so at first it was a blur but then it registered. A simple window display of poinsettias brought a flood of memories and emotion. My mom got one for her every year at the beginning of December. I always wanted to go along to deliver it because her reaction was an incredible mixture of joy, anticipation, and gratitude. Every year she seemed genuinely surprised. She didn’t have an expectation that my mom would bring it but was exceptionally delighted when she did.
To be content with what we have and grateful for anything we’re given. To know that God has good things for us on earth but that He also made it clear there would be suffering. To have the faith that is defined in the Bible as “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11: 1) She’s in heaven seeing all the promises fulfilled. Even as I walk past a window display in another country, I’m still learning lessons from her and I hope I always will. Grief may have followed me to London but God went before me and graciously provided the distractions along with the reminders.
