Nancy Reagan championed the slogan "Just say no". I am increasingly convinced that my generation has lost what is implied in that statement. Our saying no should be followed up with actions showing that we mean no, not yes. Our yeses and noes get so mixed up that we confuse ourselves! When we say no it doesn't need to be followed by apologies or with being open to being begged to change our answer.
No is not a word to be ignored nor it is a word to be used flippantly.
The way to build trust, show respect, and enjoy & grow in love is to be bravely honest and courageous enough to really listen to the person you are interacting with. To hear his words, see his face, and watch his actions with the goal of knowing who he really is.
Intimacy-I crave it on a daily basis. There are days I find myself convinced that sex equals intimacy, that all my problems would go away with the simple act of getting laid. My body tells me this is the solution. For 20 years my body has told me that sex is what I need and, more than that, what I'm entitled to. The world around me has magnified and amplified that message 100 million times over.
Please listen and try to hear me when I say: God created sex. He told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. If He didn't want us to have sex He may have just made all 7 billion of us at once and said that's enough. No multiplying. We're just gonna subtract from here. But His plan does involve multiplying and it is so far beyond a quick humping of each other.
He created us to be above the animals. We're not supposed to eat our young or kill each other after sex. We are allowed, and even told, to ENJOY, TAKE PLEASURE IN, REPEAT, & EXPLORE sex for "as long as we both shall live". We can try news ways, learn from each other, give it to each other as a gift, and relish in the beauty, mystery, & excitement of sex. We can find unimaginable freedom in shedding our inhibition and letting go of the fear of rejection and failure. We can do these things because God created us, designed us, and even implores us to do so. When we follow His plan sex turns into intimacy.
The truth is that you can live without sex and even thrive in life without sex. I know this full well. And because of that truth, we can turn down the volume and zoom out so that the lies we are presented with are not allowed to penetrate our minds or our souls. We CAN "just say no" and mean it.
Don't watch Fifty Shades of anything.
Read Song of Solomon and learn when and how to say YES.
