Friday, May 30, 2014

The day my mom offered to sleep with my teacher

My parents let me choose which high school I went to, Immanuel or Dinuba, and when I chose Dinuba High I have a feeling that's when her dream took one step closer to becoming a reality. She would have to be patient and wait for the most opportune moment but she was no stranger to things taking awhile. She believed good things come to those who wait. She would be ready when the time was right. She didn't need to practice her line. It was perfect just as it was. 

And oh how her patience paid off! 

It was my junior year of high school. My mom and I were at Back to School Night. We had visited several classrooms and were approaching my math teacher's room when it happened. She excitedly grabbed my arm and blurted out the line I will forever remember, "You want me to sleep with your teacher so you can get an A?!?" 

Her time had come, the moment was perfect, she had delivered the line like a pro, and I wanted to wash out my ears with soap. "Ahhhhh!!! Noooo!!!", I said in protest! She didn't really hear me because she was reveling in the shear genius of her idea. 

How could my mom suddenly turn into the kind of person that would make such an offer?!? 

"Well", she said, "Anything for my kids!" This line was followed by hysterical laughter lasting several minutes. She was so amused by my adverse reaction to her offer to sleep with my teacher that she could hardly contain her laughter. 

When we walked in the room, I told my teacher what my mom had just said. (I'm such a tattle tail.) Upon hearing the offer, he looked at my mom with hope in his eyes but then shook his head and said,"I don't give away A's.", then his face brightened, as he exclaimed, "But I'll still sleep with you!"

OMG!!! My parents were out of control!!! 

I earned my own A by doing my homework and acing the tests, thank you very much! But having my dad for a math teacher sure made for memorable moments!


Congratulations on over 41 years of not only being an amazing teacher but being an incredibly honorable man! I love you Dad and I'm so proud to be your daughter...most of the time. :)