Am I supposed to love or hate disabilities?

Disabilities cause pain and I hate pain. Pain hurts and causes me to feel very uncomfortable and motivates me to go to great lengths to seek out ways to get rid of it. This line of thinking has caused me to dig deeper into the abyss that is my relationship with disabilities. Do I love or hate disabilities? And do I have to choose?

I love how someone with Down syndrome can cross social and cultural barriers to convey the love of God to people that would have absolutely refused to listen to anyone else. How can I hate something that produces miracles?

I hate how someone with autism can have such difficulty with touch that he can't accept a hug from his own mother or have such difficulty with speech that she can't say 'dada'. How can I love something that produces rejection?

I love how someone with cerebral palsy can urge entire communities and even nations to be more physically fit, to move in any way they can, and to focus not on limitations but on possibilities. How can I hate something that produces hope?

I hate how someone with an intellectual disability can have an adverse reaction to something and, not only ruin the day for everyone, but ruin the experience forever for everyone around him. How can I love something that produces deep seeded pain and resentment?

I love how someone with multiple disabilities can inspire the creation of an entire organization that is designed to bring out and celebrate the champion in her. How can I hate something that produced the special Olympics?

I hate how someone with a seizure disorder can be so controlled by the eminence of another convulsion and so uncertain of how the next seizure will affect her that she feels like a prisoner in her own body. How can I love something that produces so much fear?

So do I hate disabilities? When I see and experience the excruciatingly loud intense pain they cause, I really really do. In those moments of wanting to cover my ears, yell, and/or rock in a corner, I would choose to take away everyone's disabilities. In a heartbeat. In my human foolishness, I would. I'd also make my legs thinner, improve my social skills, and give myself a sense of direction (I get lost...a lot) but those are different subjects. Or are they the same? If I had a magic wand and my own human wisdom the only guarantee is that I'd make everything worse. Just like King Solomon. 

The most beautiful miracle is that sometimes disabilities are what show me the face of God. His very nature and character of Love and His unmerited favor shine through in our most unlikely characteristics. 

Having a terrible sense of direction has caused me to rely on God for direction. He literally directs my paths and has made Proverbs 3:5&6 come alive in my life on a daily basis.

Turns out I don't have to declare love or hate for disabilities or for pain because what I have seen as evil, God has redeemed and used for good. What a relief! Hallelujah!