Open letter to fathers who say they will lock their teenage daughters up or will greet a boy at the door with a shotgun.

Please stop saying that. It makes you sound like a coward and a fool. Neither of which you are.

Also, I don't like it. Here's why:


1. You're exaggerating. You don't actually want your daughter to be locked away in a homemade prison.

2. You don't actually plan on shooting anyone.

3. It's hypocritical for a father to say that all men are untrustworthy. If you want your daughter to trust you, don't tell her all males shouldn't be trusted.

4. You don't really want your daughter to be single her whole life. You want her to get married and have grandchildren that you can tell all your amazing stories to.

What you actually want is for your daughter to be treated with respect and admiration. What you want is for her to have healthy, mature relationships. You even want her to have sex and enjoy it. You want her to have wisdom, self-worth, and confidence in all areas of her life.

5. You are her role model for how a woman should be treated. Loving her mom is the single loudest and most direct message you can send. Louder than any lecture and more effective than aiming a shotgun at any boy.

6. Teach and train. Don't hide behind empty threats and hollow words. Teach her what a good man is so she can distinguish between trash and treasure in a heartbeat. Teach her that there are men in the world who have been taught by their fathers how to be honorable. Train her to recognize and accept protection and love, not how to live in fear of what men will do to her.

7. Don't expect her to disobey and please don't expect her to fail. Don't forbid her from talking to boys and then give her birth control.

8. Be honest about some of your fears. Of course, you don't want her to get hurt or abused! Of course, you want her to be protected from harm! These are the qualities daughters cherish in their fathers. Don't deny your fatherly instinct to protect. Teach your daughter where that instinct comes from and who you turn to when you are afraid. We are all vulnerable in this world. Being locked in rooms guarded by men with guns doesn't change that fact.

On behalf of daughters everywhere, thank you for your  kind attention to this matter.