I send myself on missions trips. I just realized that's been my pattern lately...maybe all along. Interesting concept. I have close friends who live near and (mostly) far and one of my favorite things is to go visit them. I hardly care where they live. I just care that they are there. Sight seeing is close to last on my list of priorities. Quality time is number one in my heart. I want to step into their lives and experience their routines. I want to meet and connect with their families, most especially their children. I want to PLAY and learn what makes those precious little souls soar. Laughing and learning and being silly are fuel for mine.
What is their language and how quickly can I learn it? What makes them smile and how often can I do that? What will they remember and how can I encourage more of that? How can I support, encourage, and love my friends and even take them out of their parenting roles and help them see that they are not only wonderful parents but wonderful friends. They tend to forget that fact when they get married and, once they become parents, they think it was something they used to be. When that moment happens that their confidence is renewed and they see what I get to see, that is the moment I treasure and want to hold up to them like a mirror so they can't brush it off as a dream or fluke. It was and is real. They really are wonderful friends worth more than gold and are most precious to me.
Of course, these trips come with a cost. They are never easy for me. I arrive and see a complete family: A husband who mostly knows me as his wife's friend, a wife who is my friend but her most important roles in life are wife and mother, and children who may or may not remember me because they were either very young or weren't alive yet during my last visit. We all have to get acquainted and warmed up to each other. It's awkward and there are some false starts sometimes but we work through it. I try to bond with the kids because I want them to like me and I want to be able to give my friends a break from some of the responsibilities of parenting. And while I know I will deeply enjoy falling in love with the children, I realize I also have ulterior motives. I know that I won't get any quality time with my friends if their children are clinging to them and leery of me the whole time I'm visiting. I have to make space for myself without threatening anyone or encroaching on anyone else's space.
It's funny though, I start off one way and then I get carried away and immersed in learning about everyone in the family. I end up loving the whole family and it's no longer about me. Then the hardest part becomes, not making space but, saying goodbye. UGH! NO!!! I strongly dislike that part. It means I have to leave more pieces of my heart behind. It's painful but it's also good. I always cry, no matter how hard I fight it. My heart has been expanded and my world less self-focused. Great is God's faithfulness to teach me the same lesson over and over again with such gentle and unwavering patience. His mercies are new every morning and on every trip.
The common phrases and challenges I hear in church these days are to "do life together", "live on mission", and "be the church". I often use these phases as punch lines (because trendy phrases bring out the sarcasm in me). But this last week especially, I've learned to recognize what those phrases look like and mean to me in my life. Turns out, despite myself, I love doing life together.
I hope this long tale, in some way, encourages you as you continue to learn what God has for you each day. As you do life with the people around you, may God remind you of His unwavering faithfulness. He will never leave you or forsake you.
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