My work

Last month I had a meeting with the parents of my 22 yr old client. They are so strong and so very tired. They need hope for the future. Their's and their son's. They want to pass the torch but see no one waiting ahead of them. They long for their son to have the skills he needs to live apart from them but they also know him and what he's shown he is capable of so far. They want to have high expectations while acknowledging he may not be able to meet those goals. They wish they could pass the torch of independence to their son. But they can't. Not in the way they dream of doing. Oh the depth of their love and devotion to him and to each other! The way his mom couldn't sit still or take a breath. The way his dad sat patiently and interjected when he had a wise word to give. The surprise and relief on their faces and in their postures, especially his dad's, when they realized I understood. 

This week I had a meeting with a different client. He doesn't have parents that are strong or have any dreams for him. He's lived at his current home for about a year. His words say he wants to stay but his actions say he wants out. No sooner did I meet him then I had to start calling him out on his choices and the consequences of those choices. Ordinarily I flee from confrontation but in this moment my instinct to help overpowered my usual cowardice. I talked and listened and asked lots of questions of him and the two people sitting across from me that had that same look as the parents I was talking about at the beginning. So worn and weary their faces and bodies appeared. They wanted to hope but weren't sure they should since they've been burned so often.  I embraced the role as leader of the pack and proceeded to make a plan that was clear, concise, and concrete. We will check in with each other once a week and will all meet again in one month to reassess if the client really does want to stay or if it's time for him to move on. Once the expectations were clearly spelled out and boundaries were made, everyone's continence changed. There was relief and a sliver of hope on their faces. We will see how it goes. The light at the end of the tunnel may be a train but we will face it together. Who knows, it may be a tail light leading us to freedom. 

I walked out of each of those houses feeling so alive! This. This is what I was made to do. This is the help I long to give. I don't realize how hard I am on myself until I'm faced with something I did right and I'm completely shocked!  Instead of dismissing it I am learning to smile and thank God for  working through me and showing me how to find deep and abiding joy in moments such as these.