I'm not happy all the time.

confident day

rough day

People often comment that it seems like I never have a bad day, that I'm always in a good mood. It's a nice reputation to have but not entirely accurate. So, for some reason, I feel like dispelling that myth today. Here goes: yesterday was a rough day for me. I was reacting to life in a much more emotional way than I usually do and was feeling a little bit crazy. Over the course of the morning, I found myself reaching for tissue after tissue. I would use one, think I was done crying only to find myself needing another one as the tears kept flowing.

What in the world was wrong with me? Was a loved one in the hospital? Had a pet just died? Did something bad happen to me? Nope. None of the above. I was completely unproductive at work and ended up taking some benefit time off to try to shake this bizarre feeling. I had made plans to see my sister and, even though I had text her visual proof of my instability, she wasn't afraid and still showed up to have lunch with me. She's a brave one and it helps that she loves me. It turns out this emotional roller coaster is what is scientifically defined as being a woman. Good grief. I didn't really believe the science lesson until about 9:30pm, when my hormones decided to balance themselves out and my sanity was restored! Well, at least to within normal limits for me. I was amazed at how different I felt from one moment to the next.

There are also days when I wake up feeling confident. I like to take full advantage of those days by doing something bold with my hair and sometimes even wearing lipstick. (gasp!) For some reason wearing lipstick feels like I'm putting on a sign asking people to look at me. So I wear it about twice a year. Every other day you'll find me happily applying whatever flavor of lip smackers is within arms reach. Strawberry Kiwi Comet is my favorite. I love that stuff slightly more than an adult person probably should. It's simply the best. Okay, enough with the product endorsement.

My point here in not to say I'm unstable, nor is it a cry for help. I'm actually fine. I have good days and bad days just like every other human and today I felt like talking about it. So there you have it, I'm not happy all of the time. I don't think that fact is shocking or surprising but many times we don't share statements like that online. We tend to share highs and, occasionally, tragic lows, but not as many boring old real emotions. How are you feeling today?